The Land Of Opportunity

David Fidelman

Some of the boys were sitting around Harry's Bar, mostly drinking and watching the ball game on TV. During a time-out, Joe said to his two buddies, "Why don't we go out and get rich instead of just hanging around here all the time?"

Al and Tom: "How?"

Joe: "The American way -- in the stock market."

Al: "You're out of your mind. We don't know anything about stocks, and we have no money to invest."

Joe: "You guys don't get it. I read the papers, and I have it all figured out. What we do is start a company, put it on the market, sell our stock for a lot of money, and retire rich."

"But we don't know anything, we don't have any money, and we don't know how to run a company."

"You don't have to know anything, and you do it with somebody else's money."

They kicked the idea around, discussed it with the bartender, and decided what the hell, let's try it.

"So what kind of company should we start?"

"I dunno, something high tech -- that's big these days.

Tom, you went to college, you must know something. Any ideas?"

During the next TV commercial Tom said, "You know, Joe, maybe you're not so crazy. Everybody's talking about electric cars, but they need a better battery. Let's try the battery business."

"Do you know anything about batteries?"

"No."

"Okay. We need a good name for the company."

"How about something with an X in it. X always sounds high tech."

The next day, Al, Joe and Tom went to the stationery store, bought a Do-It-Yourself Home Incorporation Kit, paid the $50 fee and registered the EXcessive Technology Corporation.

Tom bought a Do-It-Yourself Home Patent Application Kit and applied for a patent on a battery that claimed to use the latest semi-conductor theory and superconductivity was better than any other battery in existence.

They found a building in New York whose price was reduced from $12 million to $4 million, but it required a $5,000 cash down payment. To raise the money, they took in two more investors. Joe's dentist put up the $5,000 for the building.

A $5,000 investment from the owner of Harry's Bar paid for a sign on the building saying "EXcessive Technology World Headquarters", with enough left over for printing stationery and sending out press releases.

The next step was to go to the stationery store and purchase a Do-It-Yourself Going Public Stock Market Kit.

That was four years ago. Everybody who reads the financial papers and magazines knows the rest of the story:

Wall Street News: "The EXcessive Technology Corp. announces that it has filed a patent application for a revolutionary new battery which will finally make electric automobiles practical. On the first day of trading, its initial stock offering jumped in price from $2 to $40 a share."

Financial Press headline: Ex-Congressman and retired Army General accept posts on Board of Directors of EXcessive Technology.

Article in science news magazine: Will EX-Tech battery perform as claimed? Scientists are skeptical, want to see public demonstration.

Financial news: EX-Tech stock soars to $300 a share.

EXcessive Technology announces that, in order to permit the average stockholder to share in the benefits of scientific discovery, it will split its stock 30-for-1.

EXcessive Technology press release: Because of dramatic improvements in the design of the new battery, the original patent application has been withdrawn and a new one filed. Demonstration of its first battery will be pushed back eight months.

Wall Street news: Price of EX-Tech stock jumps as a result of announcement of its battery improvements.

Financial Insider column: Rumors are flying around Wall Street of a cooperative venture between EX-Tech and General Motors. Both company managements say no comment. Both stocks have started climbing.

Al, Joe and Tom have retired from the company after announcing that it was time for a younger and more aggressive management team to take over, and have sold their stock. Al lives on an oceanfront estate on the big island of Hawaii. Joe has a penthouse condo on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue, an estate in Palm Beach, has a fabulous collection of modern art, and is a big contributor to New York charities. Tom spends most of his time at his villa on the Riviera and in the casinos of Monte Carlo, and keeps his yacht moored at the Royal Yacht Club of Monaco.

The EXcessive Technology Corporation has not yet held its first public battery demonstration. The company announced last week that it has started development of a revolutionary new type of battery that makes all its previous developments obsolete. The new design makes use of the latest developments in atomic energy and cold fusion. The first public demonstration is expected late next year. As a result of this announcement, the price of the company's stock has more than doubled.