Socializing 102 |
Let's say there is a children's social organization with a regular weekly SIG called "sandwitch insanity". Once or twice a week a group of them go to it, to socialize and meet new members. Imagine that you are hearing a description of what is going on over one of those nursery monitors. (Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental.)
During the course of the evening, one of the 'insane ones' goes out to a social activity with one of the others. Let's call them 01, and 02.
For reasons of their own, 01 and 02 stop going out, and 01 becomes friends with 03. 01 tells 03 all about its time with 02, and looks for sympathy.
Point 'A' : Respect other people.
"Tell no tales out of school." (John Heywood)
"Son of Atreus, what manner of speech has escaped the barrier of your teeth?"(Homer)
Not wanting to be impolite, 03 asks, 'what is wrong?' 01 unloads, and 03 gets an earful. At this point 03, who doesn't know quite what to do, confides, "04, you should have heard what 01 said about 02!"
Point 'B' : DO NOT GOSSIP.
"Put your sword back in it's place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword" (Jesus, Mt 26:52)
Now 04 meets 02 (an acquaintance) for a social activity and ... by now you have the general idea.
I like to think of the song "Let it Snow" at times like this, only I change the words to: "Let it drop, let it drop, let it drop"
Point 'C' : Own your guilt!
No more of "But he/she, said/did (this) and I was only ..." only being childish?
Adults take RESPONSIBILITY for their mistakes, learn from them, and MOVE ON.
"The sword within the scabbard keep, and let mankind agree." (Richard Dryden)
"You have to be a friend to have friends". (Mom)
I cannot count the number of persons who have approached me, doggedly determined to seek vindication by tearing some other person a new orifice. They do not realize that EVERY TIME they do this, they make THEMSELVES look childish.
Imagine being in a volleyball game that you are tired of playing. If you keep hitting the ball up into the air, it will keep coming back. What you really need to do is just turn and walk away.
"Let sleeping dogs lie -- who wants to rouse 'em?" (Charles Dickens)
Now if what I am describing makes you a little uncomfortable, relax! After all, I could not have been describing anyone in MENSA!