ROLL-M: Bats |
Bats (starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Dina Meyer, Bob Gunton, Leon; written by John Logan; directed by Louis Morneau; rated PG-13).
Bats n, pl.: nocturnal flying mammals; Bats n 1: movie title; 2: what you are if you go to see the movie by this title.
There’s just nothing good that can be said about this movie. Think: really bad "X-Files" episode, without Scully and Mulder. In fact, the picture begins exactly like an episode of that popular TV show (or any really bad B-movie): two teens, parked in a car, a strange something, wham! They’re dead. Cue the spooky "X" and Whistler. Oh wait, right – this is a Feature Film. Gotta keep reminding yourself of that. Especially since the director didn’t seem to know the difference. The director used typical TV style tight close-ups for his principals – except for the bats, which are seen mostly as fast, fluttering wings in dizzily swinging camera "special effects" (about which there is nothing special at all). It almost seems as if someone at Destination Films (the production company) decided to take a made-for-TV movie and put it one the Big Screen instead. No doubt the executive who made that decision is now selling shoes at K-Mart.
I could go on and on with all of Bats’ faults, but why bother? We left after the first 30 minutes. Anyone who stays longer is, well, a dingbat.
Zero Owls (out of Five)