Upbeat Living: The B/Right Stuff |
Words delightfully reflect how we look at things. One great example is the word "stuff". We speak of "owning stuff". We specify "that’s MY stuff, so leave it alone". We say, "I’m stuffed!" Some say, "oh, stuff it!" In these phrases, we express ownership and stowage. In psychotherapy, "stuff" is used to mean one’s emotional baggage, as in, "all his stuff really came up in that argument". Psychological ownership and stowage come through in this usage, as in "stuffed emotions". In popular archetypes, our culture admires a hero who "has the right stuff", meaning that he is filled or "stuffed" with strong, positive traits that serve him and humanity well.
Would you like to size up your "stuff"? Let your imagination run free for a couple of minutes and then write down your private answers to these questions for Part 1: What is important in life? What is right and what is wrong? What are your values? What is interesting? Do you run your life according to what is important to you? What is your "stuffing"? For your personal goals and values, do you "have the right stuff"? Is there a difference between what you say is right/important/interesting and what you spend your time on? Now, for Part 2, look around your living space briefly and keep writing, this time choosing adjectives for what you see. Do you see confusion, clutter, inconsistency, or noncompletions? Does the air smell stagnant? Are there dirty or broken things or stuff that needs to be discarded? Right now, some of you are looking at a clean home, lovely colors, pretty furniture, clear walking spaces and exercise zones. Some of you have flourishing plants, clean air, and orderly files; all the food in your fridge is probably recognizable, and it’s probably even fresh. Which home would you say "has the right stuff"? If you could move in now, which home would you choose?
For Part 3, work the process in reverse. How much do your descriptions of your "living space" match the "living space" of your mind? After all, bright people do much of their living in their minds. If your home needs dusting and cobweb removal, what about your thoughts? If some furniture is broken, what would it take to fix it? Then, what would it take to repair the fixtures of your social life? If there is simply too much stuff in your home, are you often trying to deal with too many thoughts and activities in a week? How about reducing the "stuff" you cope with, in your physical living, and in your mental tasking? What can you "clean house" about? Can you drop an organization, leave one hobby to alternate years, or give a check instead of time to that fourth worthy cause?
How much clutter or gunk can be in the mind of a person with a clean, pleasant, and airy home? Our homes are the outpicturing of our minds. Just why do you think they call that one space a "living room"?? Are you relaxed, happy, and satisfied in your mental living room? If not, here is an easy trick: clean your physical living room! Just as a cluttered mind generates a cluttered homescape, cleaning your homescape can clear your mind.
Here’s the really easy part: everything is either "Love It As Is" or "Other". The "Other" is of 3 types: Clean It, Fix It, and Out Out D—Spot. If it’s worth cleaning or fixing, do it; hire a little help if you need to. Otherwise, toss it or donate it.
Now what’s in your house?? Write that down: AHA! When we get rid of the Wrong Stuff, we end up with only the Right Stuff. After this exercise, notice how many nice new people you meet in the following two weeks. Notice how your mind is clearer, and your goals are starting to take orderly mental form. Notice how you’re more effective in the workplace and in social groups. Your former resistance to cleaning up your "stuff" was holding you back on many levels. Hey, now that you’ve "cleaned house" with your living room, have you thought about "straightening out" your "bedroom stuff"? Wow! Think of the possibilities, and write them down. Clear the Wrong Stuff from the rooms of your physical house and the Right Stuff will express in many ways in your lifestyle.
Make the b/right choices for you. Enjoy choosing your stuff and your life, starting now.
Kebba Buckley speaks nationally on stress management and energized living. She is a coach, spiritual teacher, and energy therapist, as well as the author of a book on how to trade in your stress for energy. She welcomes comments and questions for this column. Her e-mail address is KebbaBuckl@aol.com.