Organ transplants from pigs?

By Sue Widemark

Mayo Clinic is embarking on a study to determine whether organs from animals can be used for human transplants. This is one way of solving the shortage of organs for transplants.

The transplants will be studied from pigs. One problem is the presence of a retrovirus, found in all swine called, porcine endogenous retrovirus. Researchers want to know whether this can be transfered to humans.

The study is funded by Hormel (the sausage makers!) and Hormel employees will be used for the studies.

I am wondering why pigs are being considered and why not something a bit closer genetically to humans like chimpanzees.

My mind comes up with several reasons: (This in the spirit of the Letterman show and very much TONGUE IN CHEEK!)

10. Due to the influence of Hormel, the scientists are going hog-wild on this study.

9. Chimps may be suspected of actually being aliens from another planet rather than the animals they resemble, especially after viewing the movie, "The Planet of the Apes".

8. Would you like YOUR chimp's heart to go to characters like President Clinton?

7. Hormel assured Mayo that this study would not go sow-er.

6. The researchers are pretty serious about this study, i.e., they don't want to 'monkey around'!

5. Pigs are more convenient Yank the heart, lungs and kidneys, then make sausage out of the rest. Yum.

4. In the last survey of chimps (done in sign language), the chimps informed the researchers that they'd rather not supply their organs to humans, thank you.

3. Chimps are an endangered species so aborting them, suffocating, starving them at infancy or euthanizing them is against the law.

2. The way some humans have behaved lately (famous ones, need I say more?), chimps are definitely a higher form of creature than humans and thus, using their organs for a lower form of creature might not be appropriate.

And finally, the number one reason why pig organs may be more desirable as organ transplants in humans:

1. The uncanny resemblance between some humans and the species of pigs is unmistakable, so maybe pigs are our closest animal relative after all!

Really, I don't know why pig organs are being considered but it's fun to specul-ape..er--speculate! :)