Acute Angles: Household Hints and Other Useful Advice |
If you catch a cold, you should see a doctor within the first three days, otherwise you will get better by yourself.
With temperatures breaking records, no matter how hot it is, remove the sun protector from your windshield while driving.
If you find that your life is becoming dull and predictable, try to plan something spontaneous for yourself.
Advice to wives: Ask directly for what you want. He’ll be so happy that, for once, he understands you, he’ll give you anything you want.
If you’re having trouble finding a copy of the how-to suicide book “Final Exit” at your bookstore, you might try picking up a copy at an estate sale.
If you’re addicted to playing the lottery, consider buying the previous month’s tickets, which are usually available for less than 25 cents each. You save $2.25 on each ticket, and you still have the same chance of winning.
Photography hint: If your pictures keep coming out underexposed, open the aperture two stops to compensate for the lens cap.
If you’re trying to make up your mind about whether to get married, remember that marriage is a trade-off. You give up some of your freedom, but you get someone who is willing to tell you all your faults.
Diet hint: People have complained that some of the chocolate-flavored diet supplement drinks have an artificial flavor. You can make them taste delicious by putting them into a blender and mixing with chocolate ice cream.
In order to operate your air conditioner most efficiently in the summer, keep the thermostat set at room temperature.
Always try to be sincere, whether you mean it or no
If you find that you’re getting a lot of headaches, you may be suffering from an aspirin deficiency.
Those marriages endure the longest in which, in any domestic discussions, the husband has learned to say, “Yes, dear. You’re absolutely right. It was all my fault. I promise it will never happen again.”
Learn to budget yourself properly. Be sure to live within your means, no matter how much you have to borrow to do it.
Frankfurters should always be grilled or broiled rather than boiled, because when they are boiled all the nutrients are lost.
If you find that your prescription drugs are too expensive and your costs for medication are getting to be more than you can afford, you can save money by asking your doctor to give you a prescription for the placebos.
According top an old duck hunter, the best way to eat duck is to marinate the bird in fine wine for three days, then throw away the bird and drink the wine.Anybody who thinks that marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: the opposite sex, and fractions.
If you want to make your writing clearer and easier to understand you should simplify, simplify, simplify and avoid redundancy.
If you keep having feelings of insecurity, it’s probably because you’re unsure of yourself.
If you’re using a blowtorch to brown a meringue, when firing up the blowtorch aim it away from your face.
Cowboy saying: Never squat with your spurs on.
To protect the environment, garbage should be disposed of in biodegradable containers. If you still have any non-degradable plastic garbage bags, throw them away.
If you eat cold cereal for breakfast and you run out of Corn Flakes, you can cut up the box, add some milk and you won’t know the difference.
If you’re stiff in the morning, subject to aches and pains, digestive disturbances and wrinkles and want to complain about your problems, but are afraid people might start avoiding you, call Rent-A-Crowd for a full evening of complaining to a group of 25 to 50 who will look totally rapt and ask you for more details. The race may not always be to the swift, or the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.