Acute Angles - Some Thoughts On Communication

by David Fidelman

In earlier times, most of our efforts were spent in the process of survival – hunting, agriculture, war, and related activities. Today we can spend our time pondering the more esoteric aspects of our existence – such as, should the toilet paper come off the top or the bottom of the roll?

With all the complications of modern life, the role of language and communication has never been more important. We’ve developed languages of hundreds of thousands of words, and sometimes still have trouble getting it right.

Language has two important functions. One is to communicate and inform, the other is to mislead or confuse. The second is far more difficult, because it has to sound as if it is saying one thing, while actually saying something different, or nothing at all.

George Bernard Shaw once said that, “The greatest problem in communications is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” Despite Mr. Shaw’s cynical comment, real communication is not that difficult. We have formal rules of grammar and usage, which are frequently violated with no loss of meaning. When someone says, “He gave it to my brother and I,” even though the grammar is incorrect there is still no doubt about who the recipients were – and very likely none of the participants in the conversation are even aware of the grammatical gaffe. Who and whom are so often misused that it sometimes seems as if every publication should have a special who/whom consultant, but still we generally end up knowing who’s who. Even cliches, which are a dime a dozen, are useful in conveying information. Except for “the exception that proves the rule” which is understood by too many people to signify that it takes an exception to make a rule valid – from which one can conclude that two exceptions make a rule twice as valid, and the more exceptions the better.

We’re told that a preposition is something a sentence should never be ended with. To which Winston Churchill said, “This is the sort of arrant nonsense up with which I will not put.” Sometimes it’s the only way to make one’s meaning clear. There’s a wonderfully logical sentence that ends with five prepositions Here’s how it goes: A sick little boy is upstairs in his bedroom and his mother comes up to read him a story. He takes one look at the book and says, “Aw maw, what did you bring that book I don’t like to be read to out of up for?”

Then there’s the humor of language itself. Not the use of words to tell funny stories, but the humor inherent in the words themselves. Sometime it comes from the fact that the same words have different meanings. An applicant filling out an insurance form had to answer the question: “Length of residence at present address.” His answer was “forty-eight feet seven inches, including the garage.”

A man enters a psychiatrist’s office claiming to be invisible. The receptionist relays this information to her boss. The doctor asks, “He says he’s invisible?” The receptionist nods. Doctor says: “Tell him I can’t see him.”

The obfuscatory function of language is a more serious one, widely used by lawyers, educators, advertisers and the government. Sometimes it’s inadvertent, as in the case of a store that advertised: “Any defective items will be cheerfully replaced by merchandise of equal quality.”

The clarifying fine print in a department store advertisement of shoes on sale for $59.99, originally $69.99, reads as follows: “In most stores. Advertised merchandise may be available at these or similar sales events this season. Regular prices are in effect at least 30% of the time. Original prices are used for merchandise with permanent price reductions. Regular and original prices are offering prices only and may or may not have resulted in sales. Extra savings % applied to reduced prices. Prices shown as ‘only’ will remain in effect after this event.” It makes you want to rush right down and buy something.

Why do educators, of all people, put so much effort into obscuring meanings rather than clarifying them. For example, the “aquatic therapy department” in a school is the swimming pool, “nonverbal communication” is a fistfight, a “youth development center” is a reform school, a “physical freeway” is the school hallway, a “cold adhesive bonding material” is glue, “expediting progress toward alternative life pursuits” is expulsion, “movement experiences” are sports, and the “learning resources center” is the library.

Even with its imperfections and ambiguities, whether its purpose is to clarify or to confuse, language mostly works. And it can be fun.