Acute Angles - An Introduction To Political Activism

by David Fidelman

davidfid@earthlink.net Among the major activities leading up to this year’s elections were the political rallies,

where your party holds events to raise money for its candidates and to instill enthusiasm in the party faithful.

Unfortunately for most of us, attending one of these affairs can cost anywhere from $50 to $5,000 a head, depending on who the candidates are and how close you want to get to them. Since these prices are out of the range of most voters, as a public service this column will give you all the information and inspiration you would have got if you had gone to one of the party’s big rallies.

After your name is checked off on the attendee list you go into a large arena, tent, pavilion or auditorium where you find a horde of like-minded people milling around, perhaps holding plates of food or glasses of various liquids. As a rule, the bigger the ticket, the better the food and drink, and the more of it. This is the time for you to circulate and find out which of your friends are affluent enough to afford this kind of affair.

Eventually someone steps up to a platform and the action begins. His speech starts something like this: “How about this wonderful crowd? With a turnout like this, how can we lose in November? Let’s hear it for our glorious party and all our candidates!” The hall erupts with cheers, whistles, applause and people in the crowd yelling, “Big victory in November! Big victory in November!”

You begin to get a feeling of deja vu. You’re back in high school at a pep rally before the big game with your school’s arch rival Crosstown High. “Who’s going to win?” “We’re going to win!” “How are we going to win?” “We’re going to win big! We’re gonna pulverize ‘em!”

After the Pledge of Allegiance and the Star Spangled Banner, the speaker says, “I’ve just been informed that our Guest of Honor will be a little late. His plane was delayed by headwinds, but I understand he’s now on his way from the airport. In the meantime, let me introduce some of our local candidates who are running this year, and we’ll hear what they have to say.”

There’s a law that the Guest of Honor has to be delayed in getting to any rally, otherwise nobody would ever stay to hear from the candidate for nomination for Assemblyman from the Eighty-third District. While we’re waiting for the Guest of Honor, the candidate for nomination for Assemblyman from the Eighty-third District gets his chance to stand before the audience and tell them that if he is elected, his priorities will include full employment, a balanced budget, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits for everybody, better education and lower taxes. Then his opponent for the nomination gets to tell the audience that if he is elected, his priorities will include full employment, a balanced budget, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits for everybody, better education and lower taxes. They’re followed by candidates for other offices, who tell the audience that if they are elected, their priorities will include full employment, a balanced budget, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits for everybody, better education and lower taxes. All of them get wild applause and standing ovations from the crowd. You don’t hear from the Governor, the Senator, the Attorney-General or any other of the major office-holders because they’re all in the lounge schmoozing with the Guest of Honor.

After enough speakers have had a chance to talk, there’s a stirring in the back of the room that signals the entrance of the Guest of Honor coming to the podium, shaking hands all the way. After a five or ten or twenty minute standing ovation, he quiets the crowd and begins his Inspirational Keynote Address. “I’m delighted to see all of you here, and to see the fine list of candidates you have for this election. With support like this, I just know we’re going to score a big victory.” He goes onto tell a little joke about himself. He acknowledges and thanks all the major office-holders for their good work and efforts on behalf of the party, and expresses his wishes for the success of all the candidates. He continues about how we will win the war on terrorism, and that the party’s priorities include full employment, a balanced budget, affordable housing, comprehensive medical benefits for everybody, better education and lower taxes. He promises an overwhelming victory in the election, and makes his exit shaking all the hands he can on his way out of the hall.

If you’re a real party stalwart, you stick it out to the end, listening to the rest of the speakers in a hall that’s now half-empty after the departure of the Guest of Honor. You feel as if you’re part of the army of King Henry V on St. Crispin’s Day before the battle at Agincourt - “...we few, we happy few, we band of brothers...” As you leave, inspired and enthusiastic, you keep hearing the Guest of Honor’s final words ringing in your ears, urging you to get all your friends and relatives, alive and dead, to the polls on Election Day to vote for the party ticket.