Roll-M - Movie Reviews

by Susan Sackett

One Hour Photo (starring Robin Williams, Connie Nielsen, Michael Vartan, Gary Cole, Erin Daniels, Eriq La Salle; written and directed by Mark Romanek; Rated R)

Mork calling Orson. Come in Orson. People on this planet have decided that I make a better dramatic actor than funnyman. I think they’re right. I’m best playing psychopaths on the loose. Like in my latest picture, One Hour Photo. I get to terrorize a really lovely family. Mindy would fit right in with them! I wanted to fit in too. That’s why my character, the nebbishy guy at the local SavMart (it’s like Walmart, only in monotones) stalks them… he’s just lonely and they’re, well, the family my character, Sy Parrish, never had. It’s like Sy says in the movie, “When we look through our photo albums, we’re seeing a record of only the happy moments in our lives. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget.” And they were such a great family, too. Why did he have to go and cheat on her? Poor little Jake. He’s like a nephew to me. But wait and see, I’ll make him pay.

I think Earthlings should go see this movie, Orson. It will make them think twice about the invisible clerk down at the One Hour Photo, or all the lonely people in menial jobs. I hear the Academy is thinking about it too. They’ve got this statuette of this naked guy they call “Oscar,” and there’s talk they’d like to give me another one. Guess I’ll stick to playing dramatic parts after all. I’m sending back the striped suspenders, and this rubber “Patch Adams” nose with the next shuttle. I won’t be needing them anymore. Until next time, nanoo, nanoo.

Simone (starring Al Pacino, Rachel Roberts, Catherine Keener, Winona Ryder, Jay Mohr; written, produced and directed by Andrew Niccol; Rated PG-13) Hollywood loves films that hold up a mirror to itself, even though the reflection usually isn’t flattering. Simone is a spin on that concept, but with a futurist take that could possibly happen some day, when the use of digitized “actors” becomes a reality.

Al Pacino stars as Viktor Taransky, an Oscar-winning director who’s had a string of flops in a town where you’re only as good as your last hit. His latest picture, though, is guaranteed to be his ticket back. But wouldn’t you know it, his leading lady (Winona Ryder) balks and walks and threatens a lawsuit if he uses any of her footage in his nearly-completed picture. It’s a nightmare every real director has had. Suddenly Taransky’s on the fast track to Filmland’s dust bin of has-beens, a crowded place indeed, and a hell he has no wish to visit. Little does he know what other hells await him. Enter the “mysterious stranger,” a terminally ill computer hack who has the answers to his prayers (insert cliché phrase “Be careful what you wish for” here) — a computer program that generates a digital babe, positively perfect in every way (but certainly no Mary Poppins!). Taransky names her “Simone,” which stands for Simulation One. (New Line Cinema’s title is actually written as S1MØNE, with the numeral for the first letter. Cute!)

Things quickly go from bad to fantastic and back to bad again, as Simone the digitized screen goddess begins to take on a life of her own. She’s got a huge fan following and is seen virtually everywhere. Director Niccol (The Truman Show; Gattaca) has a lot of fun with Pacino and the Pandora’s box he unleashes. Some of the film’s best scenes are when Pacino is alone on the stage with his computer and the large screen, puppet-mastering Simone and taking a cue from The Wizard of Oz (Pay no attention to the man in front of the computer screen.) His maniacal performance is pure Pacino, and Canadian model-turned-digital-actress Rachel Roberts, with her HAL-like computer voice, is convincing as the adored, non-existent Simone. Niccol is adept at creating thoughtful, intelligent films that challenge the imagination. High concept movies like this are not for everyone, but most Mensans will appreciate it. And if you’re a true film buff like I am, it’s a must-see.