Ground Control to Major Tom

by Lin Sinclair

. . . Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do . . .

THIS MONTH’S LAME SEQUEL: “Men In Taupe”

AGENT Y: So exactly what IS our mission?
AGENT X: To eliminate, and not necessarily with prejudice, Lurkers . . .
AGENT Y: “Lurkers?”
AGENT X: Lurkers
AGENT Y: And exactly what is a “Lurker”?
AGENT X: A being that plasters itself tightly against the farthest edges of human groupings. This elusive creature generally attempts to blend in with wall coloring to avoid discovery.
AGENT Y: But what’s so important about these  ”Lurkers”?
AGENT X: Untapped resources . . . Big Giant Head has directed us to transport all lurking intelligence in the GPM Soular System to the “Active Participant Zone”.
AGENT Y: Any idea how we’re supposed to start?
AGENT X: It’s disgusting! “Be nice to them!” Can you imagine? Like we’re supposed to go up to them and do this “Hi!” thing or some other “Nan-noo Nan-noo”  nonsense.
AGENT Y: This will require the use of intoxicants.
AGENT X: Right! I’ll check the armory . . .

Didja Know Dept:
- Barbara Bradley chose to spend her birthday at the stapling table at FSM instead of going out to dinner.
AWWWWWWWWWW!!!
- Fifteen (15!) intrepid trekkers showed up for the trip to Fossil Springs. Literally a cool-ing event ..

Lookin’ For Dept:
Nubile/beefy Mensans to run naked through downtown Phoenix (just checking to see if you actually read
this far!)