Why I May Not Host Another Mensa Party

by Bill Taylor

First of all, I have been a member of Greater Phoenix Mensa for over ten years, and have hosted many events in my home, including, for several years, a monthly movie night.  I hosted the May Salon last month. Mostly, it was a very nice party, and I had a good time hosting it. I thank all of you for coming.

However, there were problems with a few of the guests.

We Mensans have gotten a reputation for being socially inept. I heard this from the many non-Mensan friends who I also invited to the party, including several  ex-Mensans.  My party reaffirmed their claims.

As a host, of course I expected the usual accidents and incidents that occur during a party when alcohol is involved. Therefore, since the weather was nice, I set up the buffet table, the plastic cups and eating utensils, and the ice chests with the drinks, outside, on the patio. There was one guest who, upon first arriving, warned me that she was “high on pain pills”. I was not surprised when she stumbled and mashed a full paper plate of food against the back wall of my house.  The next morning the cleanup of this and all the other spilled food on the patio was easily accomplished with a hose. All of this was normal, expected, and planned for.

The couple in the dining area who were showing off their new, his and hers, Glock semiautomatic  9 mm handguns with laser sights was another matter. Yes, they removed the clips, and made sure the guns were unloaded, before aiming the laser beams at other guests.  I guess their recently completed gun safety classes were good for something.

Another incident disturbed me more. I was in the back yard, showing some landscaping improvements to a couple I have known for over 20 years, but who had not been to my home for several years. From where we were standing, we could look through the open drapes directly into my bedroom. One of the Mensa regulars, somebody we all know, was sitting on my bed, flossing her teeth. I thought of all the bits of food particles, saliva, gum tissue, and blood that were being sprayed onto my comforter. Then, her friend came out of the master bath, and sat on my bed, brushing her teeth. These are activities that are supposed to occur only in the bathroom, where the hard surfaces can be sanitized.  Later, I was told that someone had vomited into my shower, and my girlfriend told me that her toothbrush was in a position other than were she had left it before the arrival of our guests. I can only conclude that the guest who had vomited had borrowed her toothbrush to brush her teeth afterwards. Needless to say, all this person had to do was tell me that she had been sick in my shower, and needed a toothbrush. I would have quickly provided her with a new one.  Nobody informed me about their “accident”, only to have it discovered later.  No attempt was made by this person to clean it up, leaving it for me do before I went to bed.

Also, the next morning I made a list of the names of all the people who had been guests at my party. There were 34, but there was only $47 in the Owl. Therefore, about a third of the guests did not pay. I have been unemployed for several months, but I had volunteered to host the party anyway. The Owl is not for the host to turn a profit on the party, but to pay back the costs of the party. After all, I did provide the decorations, soft drinks, ice, paper plates, plastic eating utensils,  plastic cups, etc., in addition to a place to have the party.  I did not appreciate those who took glasses out my cupboard, or used the special glasses from the china hutch, because they did not want to drink from plastic cups.

We are intelligent adults. We should not have to be told to inform the host when we have an “accident”. We should not be forced by the Gestapo to put our money in the Owl. We should not play with firearms while in a group with some who are not comfortable around guns. We should not perform personal hygiene while sitting on the host’s bed.

Hopefully, by next year, the negative memories will have faded, and the good memories will allow me to host another party.

By the way, there was a pair of ladies’ shoes left behind. If the owner contacts me, I will try to make sure she gets them back.

Editor's Note:  Bill, thanks for a honest and insightful letter.  Arleen Williams made some comments that follow:

Bill Taylor has opened his home many times to the Mensa Family.  It is with regret that as the Salon Chairperson, I learn that the members and guests of GPM do not know how to conduct themselves at another member’s home.   I  only hope that the ones who were responsible call him and apologize for their behavior.  There is the question that those present did not always contribute to the OWL.  As you know, the hosts provide many items for your pleasure and the small token of remuneration is not a hardship on anyone who attends.  Please remember the OWL.  If in this case, you did not pay your share, please send or give it to him at the next event.  Let us know that those of us who donate our time and homes are appreciated and treated with respect.  Comments are welcome.  Send to: rolling @flash.net.